Victoria

Her presence – angelic 
A visual representation of music
Every subtle move
A note worthy of Beethoven
And my thoughts are woven
Between the fabric of her dress
And the texture of her smile
She has the hands of a woman
Who has worked hard 
Her life is not
And was not her own
Always the writer of
Another’s song
Sung deep and low
A note held long

That Time I Moved to Bangkok

The June heat of North Carolina had just started to kick in. Humidity was on the rise. Grass needed to be cut. Mosquitoes were swarming, and the call of the road was beckoning once again. I was only in NC 3 weeks since my job in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia ended. Yet it seemed like a lifetime.

I love almost everything about Charlotte, NC. But being back home and not working proved to be somewhat difficult for me. I missed life as an expat like a puppy misses its owner. My time in NC was divided between visiting friends and family and looking for the next adventure. Before long, I was offered a job at Saipanya Rangsit School in the suburbs of Bangkok. 

On July 2^nd, I boarded a Singapore Airlines flight with a final destination of Bangkok’s Suvarnabhumi Airport.

Anyone who has traveled in SE Asia has probably passed through Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok. It is the regions cheapest international hub and offers reasonably priced flights to most corners of the globe.  The airport handles around 53 million passengers a year.

After navigating my way down endless corridors and moving sidewalks, I exited customs with my bags and grabbed a taxi for the city. My first week or so in Thailand was just like all of my other visits here. I spent time in the “foreigner ghetto” area of Sukhumvit. 

The area is a mix of expats from all over the world and resourceful Thais who are skillful at making a buck from these foreigners. There are bars, night clubs, street markets, western food places, and numerous hotels from 1 to 5 stars. By American standards, the area is super cheap and exciting.

 However, the following week I started to learn what true Thai life is like. I found an apartment a few km beyond Don Meaung Airport and only 5 minutes from my new job location.  This was my inductions to living in a true Thai lifestyle, albeit with most of the conveniences that locals could not afford.

My apartment was rather simple. There was a queen sized bed, two windows, a bathroom with a shower, a small balcony, lcd tv, a few small tables, a mini fridge, and a breakfast table and chairs by the window. The building is brand new, so everything was in nice working order. My place was on the 6^th floor.  On the first floor there was a 24 hour 7/11. Very convenient.

Just outside my apartment there were about 20 or so food vendors offering the most delicious items I could imagine.

This is a look down my street or Soi in the suburbs of Bangkok.

 I love the Thai use of plants and water.

 No shoes in class!

 Endless supplies of exotic fruits.

 I even had a chance to eat scorpion.

 And I was always eating grilled squid!

Hitchhiker 히치하이커_11(ELEVEN)_Music Video

10 things you have to adjust to when living in Saudi Arabia

Four months in to my contract in Saudi and I am still adjusting. Of course, some things are easier to adjust to than others. I can’t honestly say that I like it here. I don’t really hate it either. I feel a sort of total ambivalence towards living here as there are no real highs or lows to report. There is just the persistence of being. I imagine minimum security prisons are the same way.

That being said, here are some things that are different compared to other places I have lived.

1. Total segregation of the sexes in public. Men and women who are not married or related are prohibited from interaction except for the act of shopping. Since no women work in retail, the employees of every store and mall are male. In restaurants there is a separate counter for women and men. While I have gotten used to the segregation in many ways, there is something strange and unnatural about only being around men 24/7.
2. The concept of a national dress code. Saudi men wear a white garment called a thobe. It looks like a long sleeve button up dress. It is often accompanied by red and white checkered head scarf. In a world where men and women are kept apart and the men wear a garment that looks a lot like a dress, I often find my western awareness confused and uncomfortable. It doesn’t help that some of the softer Saudis often play with their headscarves and flip them in a way that a woman might flip her hair in the mirror before going out or the way she twirls the ends while engaged in a flirtatious conversation.  It is not just the Saudi men who have a “dress code.” The women are not allowed to leave the house without wearing a hijab and an abaya. These two pieces combine to totally obscure everything except a woman’s eyes and shoes from sight. Some even wear a veil that covers the eyes.
3. Lack of public entertainment. Movie theaters, live music, bars, clubs, and other typical meeting places are banned here.
4. Lack of music. For the most part, one does not randomly hear music in Riyadh. Shops don’t have a soft music background, cars don’t usually have the radio on, and tv and commercials are devoid of music. No jingle and no jangle.
5. A desire to be first. Driving or being in a vehicle is a daily risk in Riyadh. There are traffic rules, but they are more often broken than followed. It is not uncommon to see a car speed to overtake another car then brake to make a right or left turn. The need to get in front of another person outweighs the need to make safe and legal traffic decisions.
6. Arrogance. Here is one where Saudi and America have a lot in common. If you ask any Saudi what the best country in the world is, they say Saudi. Just like Americans often say ‘Merica, fuck yeah.
7. Imported work force. I am only here because I teach English to Medical students. I am thankful for the job and opportunity. The rest of the workforce is just like me, imported. It is rare to see a Saudi doing some sort of work. The doctors, chefs, teachers, drivers, cleaners, nurses, construction workers and others are all from other countries. In fact, except for my students, I know more people from Pakistan, Jordan, Egypt, Syria, or Bangladesh than I do Saudis.
8. Shaking hands. It is a common Saudi cultural practice to shake hands every time you see someone. Maybe I am overly sensitive, but I don’t like that much physical contact with people. Every day at the start of class, my students shake hands and attempt to shake my hand. Well, they used to until I told them that I don’t like shaking hands every day. Now a few of them will offer a fist bump, which I find much better, but I still don’t want to do that every day either.
9. Prayer times. Saudis are Sunni Muslim and therefore pray 5 times a day. The first prayer happens just before dawn. I can live with this. However, the last 4 prayers are throughout the day. Every business shuts down for 30 minutes at each prayer. This makes accomplishing anything during the afternoon virtually impossible because things are closed around noon, then again around 3, and again around 5 and again around 6:30. It is amazing that anything gets done at all.
10. Things not getting done. There is no concept of customer service or efficiency here. Things just take a long time and when they do happen, are not always done correctly. And since no one wants to take ownership of a mistake, it is hard to get anything fixed.

Palace of the Pleasure Seekers

I took prodigious pleasure at

The palace of the pleasure seekers

Plotting for a point in the present that

Penetrates the past with pure precision

People perk up at the thought of pursuit

Plentiful and plain

Pervasive and petulant

The power persists

Pause

Please please me

Play proudly with paradise

As we approach the precipice of the profane

Pick between passersby and passing away

Proudly

I procured pleasure and not possessions

Sapiosexuals

There was a subtle sillage of her essence 

created by her smile and friendly nature

left in the air like waterfall mist 

Not a scent, but like a scent, 

made of wow 

this light and witty banter 

would be my downfall

infusing my life 

with magoa, 

what the Portuguese call 

a heartbreaking feeling that leaves 

long-lasting traces, 

visible in gestures and 

facial expressions

moving me from whole to broken 

“She knows the fever that burns 

inside me: this desire for travel and exploration,”

thoughts of her baltering around my mind

Dancing in and out of other thoughts

Misplaced and unexpected

Captivated and capsized by 

the ghostly silhouette of a 

chance encounter 

Counting the moments until 

my counterpart appears, 

a part of me already?

Of course. 

We are two 

sapiosexuals 

engaged in word pornography

Seduced by each other’s intelligence

Trying to make the world better 

from the inside out 

by laughing.

We walked away

We walked away
absent the light of day
she grabbed my hand
in a way that seemed more than
natural
like our hands were
meant to be
entwined
one, two, three, four
I declare thumb war
Laughing and walking
moving just as much
side to side as forward
surrounded by the quite
stillness of
desert skies and
an almost full moon
living a lifetime
with every step
I held her hand
feeling each finger
like a lifeline
pulling my heart
and my pace
to salvation
and grace
So we walked.

Spinning

My head spins
Arabic winds
promised love
nightly sins
happiness
new found friends
intoxicatingly begins
wishing that it
never ends
a broken heart
always mends
when our soul
ascends

Learning to Think

The recent shutdown of Congress is teaching me how to survive in The Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. I am often frustrated by living in a place that disregards logic and chooses aesthetics over functionality. But then I look at the mess going on back home and realize that we don't always choose function either.

As for the Kingdom, there seems to be a decided push towards how things look to other people rather than how things work. Most of my students have never been taught critical thinking and I suppose that makes sense. Why would or should one think critically in a society that makes decisions for you; decisions based on appearing pious rather than improving quality of life? I have already written about the traffic and pollution problems. Everyone seems to operate on a "it only matters that I get what I want" mentality. Every one is in a rush.

However, when it comes to the administration of the life here, nothing is done quickly. I have been here two months now and still have not received my ID card, or Iquama. This ID is needed for everything: to travel, book a hotel, get a sim card, open a bank account, upgrade internet, book an airline ticket, send money to the USA, and many other basic needs. Tomorrow is the last day before a 10 day holiday and me and the other teachers who started when I did will be stuck here without the ability to travel or be productive in making life more manageable for the duration of the holiday. Form over function can blow me.

Anything You Choose to Do is Almost Always More Enjoyable Than What You Are Forced to Do

I have written about my first two months here in Saudi both on this blog and on facebook. When I look back at the things I have written, I get the feeling that I complain a lot. My goal is not to be a closed minded American who only values the way I have always done things. That being said, I will probably continue to complain.

Riyadh is what the USA would be if the religious right wing conservatives ran the country unopposed or power checked. I have never expected every country to be the same or offer the same way of life. I have also never been the sort to run around going "America, fuck yeah!" But recently, I have come to appreciate the idea of choice much more than I ever have before.

Saudis don't have a lot of choices when it comes to how to live life. Well, I suppose they have choices, but not as many as I am used to (not just in the States, but during my time in SE Asia and Europe as well). Because the religion and the government are so closely related, religious mores are codified as law. There is very little in the way of secular laws as a matter of fact other than basic traffic and contract laws. For the most part, the law and the religion are one and the same.

To be fair, there is some distinction. There is a regular police force and a religious police force. Personally I have not had contact with either, but I observe how they operate and read the local news. Back to choice. Things that are banned in Riyadh:

Public music
singing
dancing
pork
PDA
dating
single men and women mixing
single men and women ordering from the same counter or area of a counter in restaurants
women driving cars (no real ban but there are fatwas against it)
alcohol
magic
non Muslim holidays including Halloween and Valentine's Day
drugs
long hair on men
women wearing regular clothes in public
single women out alone in public (unless foreign)
Women showing their hair or ankles or anything in between except hands and eyes. (only in public)
Homosexuality
The Bible
Converting away from Islam
movie theaters
bars, night clubs, concerts
Basically, if it is remotely fun, it is probably banned.

This is where I have a problem. I truly believe that every person deserves the right to live as he or she sees fit as long as they do not hurt others. But in this place, this bastion of religious piety and hypocrisy, people don't have a choice. Anything you choose to do is almost always more enjoyable than things you are forced to do.